Monday, September 29, 2014

Being right.

If you've read my book, The Dog Who Rescued Me, (by Jerri Kay Lincoln!), you would know that part of the issues with Moki were my issues.  So, here's another one.

A couple weeks ago while Moki and I were hiking, I looked ahead on the trail and saw a couple dogs that looked loose. I called out and said, “Are your dogs on leash?”
The woman replied, “No, but they’re fine.”
I said, “My dog is afraid of other dogs,” and I took Moki off the trail so they could go by. While they walked by, I pulled Moki behind me. The first dog started to come over, so I said, “SSShhh,” to it and it continued up the trail. The second dog tried to come over and the woman stopped it.
As the man walked by, he said, “Lady, you need to chill out.”
I was furious, although I didn’t say anything at the time. All I could think about was giving him a synopsis of what had happened and tell him a thing or two or three.
Days and days went by before we took that trail again. Sure enough, we ran into them again. When I saw them, I told the man the synopsis and told him he shouldn’t be so judgmental. He said, “You’re crazy, lady.” He used an expletive, and the woman said to him, “Brad!”
As the woman walked by, I told her that it was honestly a true story. I got to say to him what I wanted to say and it didn’t make me feel one iota better.
Moki and I continued down the trail and I had a revelation. I needed to be right! When I was in therapy with Ryan, I had told him that I didn’t think I needed to be right anymore. And here it was evidence that I still needed to be right.

And it woke me up to something else. I had been wanting to write an email to Steve and Hildy saying that my fear should have been enough reason for them to honor my request about their two dogs. My friend, Jennifer, told me that I shouldn’t, but I was going to write to Ryan hoping that he would agree with me. When this happened with “Brad,” I realized that writing to Steve and Hildy was again trying to prove that I was right. Get over it! I really don’t need that anymore.